I've received a couple of requests on twitter (@ellysharday) regarding relationship problems or advice. I decided to why not write an article based on my own perspectives of things in a union between 2 individuals.
Before I start, I'd like a little disclaimer. Just note that whatever I'm saying here might not necessarily be useful for your relationship, you can give it a try, it may or may not be the key to your relationship. In addition to that, all these contents are based of actually scenarios that has happened and friends as well as you have told/written me about and these are my solutions:
1. COMMUNICATE
This is something that every single one of us knows about but refuse to do. Let me give a scenario where I was put in the middle of this.
My best friends Cole and Jane (not their real name for privacy) started dating. They weren't friends before they dated, like they didn't know each other at all.
Jane is a basketballer. She enjoyed the sport. However, she never told Cole about her interest in it.
Cole, on the other hand, hates basketball. In secondary school, he had a rough time with the basketball team and he quit. He didn't like the attitude of the players. They were very cocky, errogant, and also bullies. It just so happens that 3/4 of those players moved on to the same school as him after graduation (the school where I was in, Jane's in and Cole was in too).
One day, about 6 months since Jane and Cole started dating, Jane decided to watch the basketball finals with her friends. She didn't tell Cole about it. She only told him, "I'm hanging out with my girls". Jane then went off to watch the match and the team won champions. Jane was in the girls' team and their competition was 2 months away. So at the end of the day the whole basketball team, the girls and boys, took a group shot.
Jane just so happened to be standing right next to the person who Cole hates the most. The went on to Instagram on a mutual friend's account and havoc happened. Cole thought Jane was cheating.
Cole flipped off at Jane the next day and now they don't even speak. All these happened because they never voiced out what they like or dislike. If Jane had mentioned that she was in the basketball team, Cole wouldn't have gone berserk at Jane when he saw the picture. Hence, there was not communication.
2. INSTANT REPLIES
This is something many people face. The lack of reply or delayed reply while text messaging your partner. What happens many times is that you send a message, 5 mins later the person checks (for iPhone user mainly) because you see that 3 grey dots at the bottom, but no reply until 15-20 mins or sometimes hours later. And you throw a fit at that person. Think about it, he/she might be doing something that's important.
Learn to be patient. Give the person some room to breathe. Don't be too clingy. Nobody likes that.
3. TRUST
Build the trust between the 2 of you. Have more faith in each other,
4: DON'T GO NEAR CHEATING
This is a no brainer. You don't want to be cheated on, so don't cheat. If you're having an open relationship, remember, the other person might actually be agreeing to such a relationship simply because they don't want to lose you.
Don't flirt with another when you're in a relationship. Flirting is Stage 1 of Cheat.
That's about all for now. If you have any questions about this, do leave me a comment below, and I will reply them either directly or in another blogpost.
I hope you guys enjoyed this long post, and that it has helped you in your relationship.
Improve yourself, not others.
xoxo, elly.
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